We were talking about husbands and wives sorting cattle together. And in the conversation we discovered there are many things a husband should not say to his wife when sorting together.
One husband said his wife did not appreciate it and, as a matter of fact, she went the house after he announced to her, “I love to sort them twice.” That was after he felt she let too many go by that were supposed to go in the pen.
Another man said his wife hollered, “I cannot read your mind!”
A father and son were sorting together and the son is about 40 years old when all of a sudden the father looked up and the son was in his pickup driving down the road. So the dad called him and said, “Hey, we are not through sorting cattle.” The son said, “I am and I am not going to listen to your crap.”
After he was frustrated, another husband said to his wife, “I would rather sort with two blind dwarfs.” Needless to say that was 30 years ago and she hasn’t helped him since. One friend just told me you can’t say dwarfs and I said, “I don’t think too many dwarfs read this.”
Another husband said to his wife—and shouldn’t have—“What part of catch and by do you not understand?”
Another wife was about ready to walk off and go to the house when she said, “I can’t read your mind looking at your butt.” Another wife walked off after her husband announced, “Swing the gates—that’s what it has hinges for.”My sister and her husband were sorting cattle together when they had only been married two weeks. She was back behind them trying to get them to down the alley but wasn’t having any luck. He said, “Just flop your arms and holler.” So in a little bit he jumped over the fence to show her how. And as luck would have it the calf ran back over the top of him knocking him down. She said if they had been married longer she probably would have laughed but did her best not to.
Another gal that runs cattle had her boyfriend holding the gate when she finally had to stop and tell him, “You cannot make the call by or in if you are holding the gate.
Hopefully this will save a few marriages. However, one husband just told me that he has learned one thing and that was—“say nothing.”
Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.
