Psalm 126:1-6
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. —Psalm 126:5 (NRSVUE)
I was sick, and it was getting me down. I wanted to pray for help, but I barely had the energy to sit up or even string a sentence together. When I tried to pray, my words came out in a confused muddle. I felt so disconnected from God, just when I needed God the most.
Worse than my physical illness was the feeling that God wasn’t with me.
I knew this wasn’t the case; God is always with us. God knows our thoughts and hears all our prayers—even the garbled ones. But in this moment I just couldn’t feel it.
I told God how awful I felt, how I couldn’t feel God’s presence, how I was so tired of being unwell and unproductive. I began to say whatever was on my mind in a stream-of-consciousness style. Then I started to cry. That’s when I began to feel God’s presence again. I talked a bit more, cried some more, and I felt God’s presence a little more. My hurt and pain had been blocking me from feeling God’s presence. Each time I honestly prayed about whatever was on my mind, I felt a little bit closer to God.
Praying isn’t always easy. Words don’t always roll off the tongue. But with perseverance we can find ways to talk to God and restore our connection, just when we need it the most.
Prayer: Dear heavenly Father, thank you for always being with us. Help us to feel the joy of your presence. Amen.
Thought for the day: Sharing my honest thoughts with God can lead to peace.
Kate Orson (Tuscany, Italy)
