Problem
My husband is a very friendly man, and I have seen women in particular more or less flirt with him. He says it’s nothing and he is not the one that is flirting. He’s a good-looking guy and I think that women naturally like him.
The main problem is my reaction to his popularity with the ladies. I feel jealous and I pretty much shut down with him. I think he could be less friendly and actually pay more attention to me because I am his wife. When he is out mingling, I am usually sitting on the sidelines somewhere. I am not that outgoing. I have never really brought this up because I don’t want to look petty, but it does bother me.
Do I just continue to sit on the sidelines and tolerate this because it is my problem? Do I make an issue of this? We are happy in so many ways, and we get along well. This bothers me but I don’t want to mess up a pretty good relationship.
Discussion
I cannot really tell how much you have discussed this issue but it appears that you have at least mentioned it. Having an open discussion about how you see things, does not mean either one of you is right or wrong. So many times people in a marriage skirt the issues because they do not want to make things worse.
I am encouraging you to have a straightforward conversation about how you feel about and understand this issue. I wonder if he, your spouse, knew how you really felt that he would continue to be so friendly with the ladies. If he knew and did not care, that would be a whole other conversation. Please talk this out and come up with some sort of plan to address the issue.
P.S. No one can know how you understand things, or how you feel about an issue until you understand the issue yourself and put it into an explanation that they can understand.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
