Advice to the seniors of 2023—and their parents

With daily temperatures above 100 degrees still in the forecast, the season for cool weather, crunchy leaves, Friday night football, and fall harvest seems far away. But many students in rural America will start school in the next few weeks—and some have already started. First-day-of-school snapshots will fill Facebook feeds, teachers will finalize their classroom preparation, and school buses will be traveling country roads again.

My kids are both heading back to class this semester as seniors—one at our local high school and one at university. As our family begins this memorable school year, I’ve been reflecting on lessons I want to make sure my young adults learn before graduating to the next stage in life. It’s also good to remind myself of these lessons as an adult who will be graduating to the empty nest stage next year with my husband.

Look up from your screen. I know as well as my Gen Z kids do the temptation to scroll on a phone or tablet as life passes by. You look down for “just a minute” to watch a funny video or research a cooking hack, and the next thing you know, it’s 40 minutes later and you haven’t even started fixing supper or doing chores.

Take time regularly to put your phone away and truly spend time with your friends and family. Take a walk through the neighborhood or on the farm and pay attention to the sights and sounds without the distraction of mobile devices. It’s great that we can so easily capture special moments with the click of a virtual button, but remember to be present and don’t just watch what’s happening through a camera lens.

Pay attention to the small moments too. You’ll have plenty of big moments in your final year of school—proms, projects, concerts, games, plays, and performances. Take note of the smaller moments too, as they so often form the basis of our memories. Winning a medal or trophy from a state competition is a great accomplishment, but it couldn’t have happened without the daily practice and the consistency of showing up. Making a Sonic run and laughing with your friends can be just as special as being crowned as Homecoming royalty.

Try new things and don’t be afraid of making mistakes. It isn’t too late to take up a new hobby or ask Grandma to show you how to crochet. Consider joining a club or starting a challenging project to gain a new perspective and spark your imagination. Take advantage of the resources your school offers to round out your education, meet people, and develop soft skills that will help you no matter what career you begin later.

Don’t forget your rural roots. When you move from a small town or a farm to a city to attend college or start a new job, it’s easy to take your hometown for granted. But the sense of community and the slower pace of rural life will serve you well no matter where you go. Go see the world and gain new experiences, but don’t forget that you might someday want to come back to a smaller town and share what you’ve learned to make it a better place.

Extend grace to others. Remember that no one is perfect and extend grace to others when they mess up, just as you hope they will extend grace to you when you make a mistake or do something you regret. When you meet people who have other beliefs and make different choices than you do, give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. Don’t just assume they have the worst possible motive or that the only explanation for them to see the world so differently is that they’re evil. Focusing on division and us-versus-them battles while drumming up fear and hatred may get more clicks and views, but it’s no way to live. You will attend school, work and live in a community with people of all kinds. Being kind will take you much further than making enemies ever will.

Keep learning. Learning doesn’t just happen at school, and graduation does not signify the end of our education. In fact, some of the most valuable lessons we learn come from experiences outside the classroom. Make learning a lifelong pursuit.

Be patient with your parents. We want to help launch you successfully into the world and are excited about all the changes ahead for you. But we also look back fondly at the times we’ve spent together as a family and will miss you. If your mom randomly reaches out for a hug in the kitchen or tears up when a cheesy song comes on at a restaurant that reminds her you are no longer her little girl or boy, just go along with it and remember that it’s only because she loves you.

Shauna Rumbaugh can be reached at 620-227-1805 or [email protected].