Cultural pressure to buy perfect, plentiful gifts for friends and family can cause consumers to make irresponsible financial decisions. Brittney Schrick, extension associate professor and family life specialist for the University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture, recommends shifting the conversation away from “more is more” and prioritizing quality time together during the holidays.
“In the past 15 to 20 years, we have definitely seen a huge increase in the expectation that Christmas becomes this huge event,” Schrick said. “Research supports the idea that as goods have gotten cheaper to produce, the pressure to consume more has grown stronger.”
Pressure from social media
Schrick said social media plays a significant role in creating pressure to buy more gifts, and platforms expose users to products they may not have otherwise known about.
“With so many people posting ‘hauls’ of their gifts, you can easily see what hundreds of strangers received,” Schrick said. “When in the past, you had to wait until going back to school to see what your friends got for Christmas. Now, you’re constantly being told what to want on social media, and there’s this expectation that you should get everything you asked for.
“In generations past, we had catalogues and commercials that pushed us towards buying things, but today, our algorithms dictate what is going to be seen,” she said. “Some of those are things that previous generations of kids, teens, young adults and adults would not have even thought to want.”
And with constant access to online shopping and pressure to consume year-round, Schrick said consumers are “not reserving special gifts for the holidays and birthdays anymore.
“Because of this, Christmas feels like it has to be bigger, that you have to create this magic in a way that is pressure-filled and can cause people to make less than healthy financial decisions,” she said.
Schrick said another downside of cheaply made goods is that their quality is often significantly lower, causing consumers to re-purchase items that “used to last for decades.”
“You end up in a cycle of consumption that is very difficult to escape,” Schrick said. “It takes concerted, conscious and thoughtful effort to say, ‘We’re not going to do this.’”
Even Santa has a budget
Schrick said it’s important to be “conscious of any promises or requests that you make to or receive from your kids regarding Santa.
“The magic of Santa can make things difficult sometimes, because there’s a perception that ‘I can ask for whatever I want, and Santa doesn’t have any constraints,’” Schrick said. “Practice being practical during these conversations.
“For example, if your child asks for a large, bulky item, you could say, ‘Santa asks mom about stuff like that and checks with me to make sure we have room for things,’” she said.
Schrick said this could be an opportunity to talk to their children about where their gifts and toys come from, and how to be responsible stewards of them.
“Have an open dialogue with kids to help them see that stuff costs money, and it takes up space,” she said. “Whether it’s in your home or the landfill, it’s important to be aware and thoughtful of how your space is being used.”
After these conversations, Schrick said she encourages parents to “give fewer gifts that are higher quality, rather than a whole bunch of gifts that are cheap, will break or have questionable origins.”
“Instead, you could spend a higher percentage of your money on a gift from a local store or a local maker, versus buying something from a big box retailer, where it might be less expensive but not last as long,” she said.
Shopping secondhand for gently used items also reduces waste and often incurs a fraction of the cost of brand-new items, Schrick said.
Rein in spending, reap the benefits
Schrick said that from a parenting standpoint, the earlier families can shift their focus away from copious gifts toward more intentional, higher-quality items, the better.
“Go ahead and rip the band-aid off and start reining it in, if you can,” Schrick said. “If you haven’t started with the overconsumption, then don’t. It’s easier to not start than it is to rein it in, but the benefits of slowing this down far outweigh the cost. If you encourage communication with your kids, it doesn’t have to be embarrassing or stressful or put pressure on them.
“But they do need to know that resources are not unlimited,” she said. “There is a budget. You can say, ‘Prioritize your list and tell me which things you really want.’ For older kids and teens, who are better able to think about choices and consequences, get them to really take some time and ask themselves, ‘Will I use this? Will I wear this? How long am I going to want this?’”
Parents can also plan to give experience-based gifts, which can help families create new memories together.
“Think outside the box about things that you like to do, as opposed to things you like to get,” Schrick said. “The dopamine wears off much quicker with what you can tangibly hold.”
Consider how your family likes to spend time together and personalize an experience around this, Schrick said.
“For example, if you all like to go hiking, give them new hiking boots for Christmas, with the goal to hike three new trails in the spring,” she said. “Your audience is you and your family. You’re showing them that you know them and you value your time together.”
Visit the Personal & Family Well-Being page on the Cooperative Extension Service website for more extension family life resources.
PHOTO: Holiday online shopping. (Adobe Stock │ #398882019 – WESTOCK)
