Time to man up again
I am writing this on March 14, which will be relevant as you read along. I have been thinking about a topic of conversation that has taken place with selected friends for the past couple years. I now realize it needs to be a nationwide discussion.
Today is #DressforSTEM awareness day. Women across the entire nation are wearing purple to bring recognition to opportunities available for women in science, technology, engineering and mathematics. While this is great news for women, what about the men?
I find myself frequently in discussions about what are we doing to the boys? We are not inspiring young men to be men. Let me be clear. My definition of “men” is that they are masculine, respectful, genuine and honest leaders. We are allowing societal pressures to push young boys away from being masculine.
Most of the reason I am finally writing about this is that I was fortunate to be involved in the Northeast Iowa District competition in Waukon, Iowa, this past week. Anyone who has spent time in the past 10 years with an FFA group knows that the young ladies have really stepped up to the plate and become the leaders. We have encouraged our three daughters to be the best leaders possible and are quite proud of what they have accomplished, each with very different styles.
The Northeast Iowa FFA officer team consisted of four females and two males. These four young ladies were extremely impressive as is so common to find today. However, what I really want to talk about are the two young men—Isaac Wiley and Blake Courtney.
These two young men were everything you could ever want young men to be. They were chivalrous; allowing the ladies to go on stage first. They were so respectful of others yet displayed a level of self-confidence that was so refreshing.
I was so impressed that I got my recorder out and interviewed Isaac Wiley for Loos Tales radio because he gave me a two-minute speech about his greatest role model in life—his father. The story he told was of learning to ride a bike and how his father would give him the latitude to fall over but still be there to pick him up. He tied that entire story into the reason he should be re-elected to the Northeast Iowa FFA District officer team; he would be supportive, provide leadership and guidance and yet be there to pick up the pieces if there was a problem.
I suppose it really touched me so much because it reminded me of the words I shared at my own father’s celebration of life on Nov. 6, 2017. To me the ultimate definition of a man is one who fully understands that his greatest role in leadership is what he passes to his own children by example. Mine gave me a good length rope every single day but he was also always there to buffer the fall when my choices didn’t work out as I had hoped.
Ironically or not, this March 14, one that is all about empowering women in the world of STEM, also happens to be the day that my father married my mother in 1964. I always considered myself to be from a “normal” family: two parents, three kids, working class, church going folks that just want to make the world a better place. Unfortunately that is not the “norm” anymore and that is clearly not the message we are sending to many of the young men in this country today.
I don’t think we need to limit opportunities for women to encourage young men to be the best they can be. Certainly I don’t want to hold back my own daughters or anyone else’s from pursuing their dreams but we also need to be sure we aren’t putting these young men on the backburner.
Perhaps we need to be reminded of what the Bible says about the role of men in our society. 1 Timothy 3:2 says, “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.” As I think of the strongest and most influential men in my life, certainly these traits come to mind—all of which I would like to see in the young men that may someday be husbands for my own daughters. It is all of our responsibility to make sure that we are building these young men as we develop opportunities for the young ladies. Let’s work to be sure no one is left behind.
Editor’s note: Trent Loos is a sixth generation United States farmer, host of the daily radio show, Loos Tales, and founder of Faces of Agriculture, a non-profit organization putting the human element back into the production of food. Get more information at www.LoosTales.com, or email Trent at [email protected].
