Wives have to put up with a lot, too 

I was listening to a conversation from several women talking and each one was stating things their husbands do. 

The first woman said, “Sometimes I just don’t get a man and I don’t know how he ever finds his stuff outside the house because in the house he can’t find anything.” She said he will simply walk across the room and then say, “Where did you put it?” 

“First of all, I don’t know what he is looking for and secondly it is often something I have rarely seen. And it is a cinch he will never move anything unless it is on top then to him it is not findable. Then when I simply walk over and pick it up and take it to him, he will say, ‘Well, when did you put it there? Then ‘Well, the last time I had it …’” 

One funny memory of mom and dad was when the phone was for dad almost always he would hang up the phone and say to mom, “I couldn’t hear one word they said.” Then he would say to her, “Cause every time I get on the pone you start clanging dishes or pots and pans.” 

Ironically if you whispered something about him the next room he would say very loud, “I heard that.” 

Another lady said, “My biggest pet peeve when I was first married and I was cooking was when my husband would walk into the kitchen and say, ‘Well, Mom used to do it this way.’ But that event only happened once cause the food was still cooking and I handed him the spatula and walked into the living room and said, ‘Well, good, call your mom and have her come help you.’” 

She then said she sat down in the Lazy Boy recliner and on purpose said, “Honey, can you get me the channel changer to the TV?” 

Cattle futures and at the auction barn keep climbing higher. I was surprised that our slaughter market on cows and bulls was as strong as it was. I thought it would start slipping. 

The banker and his son-in-law bought an area in town that had a lot of trees. They have been clearing it off for resale. Another guy decided he would help so he put up a sign that read, “Future Gentlemen’s Club.” It’s nice to have friends. 

My sister just signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothes. She said, “If I had any of that, I wouldn’t be signing up.” 

My older sister just had a knee replacement. At breakfast one ole cowboy said that she was a good ole gal. I said, “Well, you got one out of two. She’s old.” 

There is a very old hotel in Laverne that was called the Clover Hotel. Years ago, a man stopped there and asked the lady that owned it if they had any call girls. She replied, “No, we just have alarm clocks.” 

Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.