An older man who comes to drink coffee every morning is very active. He walks a lot and plays golf most every day. Another man asked him what he was going to do for the rest of the day. He said, “Absolutely nothing, and I’m getting good at it.”
Another older cowboy had an uncle who died about 30 years ago. The cowboy said, “My uncle used to call everyone Guy all the time.” He said, “I used to think that was so stupid.” He said that as he has gotten older, he understands why. “He couldn’t remember anyone’s name.”
A friend of mine told me that up until he was 20 years old, he thought his heart was in his rear end. I said, “Why did you think that?” He said, “Grandma used to pat me on the rear and say bless your little heart.”
Two friends were both very competitive. They went fishing together and made a bet that whoever caught the most pounds of fish in the next two hours then the other buddy had to buy the winner all the beer and food he could consume later that night. It was getting down to the last minute when all of a sudden the one buddy had a huge fish on the line going back and forth. The other buddy got the fishing net out and said, “Let me help you.” Just as he got the fish up out of the water, his buddy took his knife out. “Dang it,” he said, adding, “Your line must have broke. I guess I am the winner.”
One guy said this morning, “We love it when our 3-year-old grandson comes to our house to spend the night, but I wish he would leave his dog at home.” He said this morning at 3 a.m. the dog jumped up on the bed, so he went and slept in the recliner. I said, “When you were single, didn’t you ever sleep with a dog?” He smiled, so I said I could tell that brought back a memory or two. He said, “All I’m going to say is I never slept with one that shed.”
I was working calves this morning when one calf kept throwing his head back and forth. Finally, after about 30 seconds of that, I gave him a little kick. One little piece of advice I would like to give you. Keep in mind that a calf’s head is more solid than your toe.
I sold some cattle off wheat this past week, and they sold very well. I think it would be more profitable for me if they would quit writing the bank’s name on the check, too.
Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.
