Numerous stories can bring a smile

Feeders are looking for opportunities to add capacity, if it is feasible. This photo was taken during a King of the Ring competition several years ago at Winter Livestock, Dodge City, Kansas. (Journal photo by Dave Bergmeier.)
"Just A Scoopful" - Jerry Nine
“Just A Scoopful” – Jerry Nine

I should have already signed up for Medicare, but I live in a make-believe world and still think I am 40. Both of my sisters keep reminding me that I need to sign up.

My older sister said, “Did you sign up?” I said, “No. They told me to sign up online, and I was having trouble.” She told me to come by and maybe she could help. I said that would be like the deaf and dumb trying to help the deaf and dumb. She doesn’t like all my responses.

One man at the sale was joking when the auctioneers sold his cattle. He hollered out, “These cattle have never heard a dirty word.” I couldn’t say that when they sold mine.

Last week when I went to sit down in the seats, just before the sale started, I said to one of the buyers, “Is this the honest side or the crooked side?” He hollered back, “Well, it was the honest side until you got here.”

There was a really nice woman from Laverne named Clara. She had just told me a few weeks ago that at church camp when she was a counselor I had picked some wild flowers and gave them to her. She pressed them in a book and kept them for more than 50 years and just recently they had finally disintegrated. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago she passed away. Now don’t take this wrong as I had joked with her a lot, and she would have thought it was funny. My older sister said she made some cookies for Clara and meant to say for Clara’s funeral. So, me being me, I said, “Did Clara like them?” My sister said she is eating wonderful food now in heaven.

Feeder cattle futures are gaining ground. Right now we are still about $10 per hundredweight off their highs but about $13 per hundredweight higher than not long ago.

There was a wife telling her husband that having a baby was way more painful than anything that a man has ever experienced. The husband disagreed. They got into quite a heated argument, and she wouldn’t speak to him the rest of the day. The next day he said to his wife, “I am right, and I will prove it.” She said, “How is that?” He said, “Well, years ago when you had our first child, you said for several months that you were never having another baby! But after about a year going by you said maybe we should have another baby, and I can promise you that I have never said maybe I should get kicked in the groin again.”

Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.