Problem: My children were raised to think for themselves. We talked openly about politics at the dinner table, and it was never a problem. I think that my husband and I raised a great family. Well times have changed, and this is a more intense time in our world. We don’t seem to have such open attitudes at this point. Maybe that is not true, maybe it is more like my family has taken up sides and I would guess it has become more intense in the conversation.
When they come home to visit, I don’t want to hear about all the things that are going on outside of the house and on television and the news. I just want peace. I know I can’t change the world or my family, but I’m tired of all this talk and disagreements. I’ve said I don’t like these debates but no one seems to hear me. It feels like my idea of why can’t we all get along is lost. I really believe that my voice is lost in such strong personalities and viewpoints. The holidays are coming around and I don’t think I can look forward to then with all these conflicting thoughts. What should I do?
Discussion: I hear you and it’s good that you raised your children to have their own opinions. The problem it seems is not the opinion but the expression of the opinion. Having a conversation is not a debate and a winner of that debate.
It seems like you and your husband need a game plan, and maybe a conversation with each of your children individually. I believe you can put into words what you would like to see, when they are all at your home for the holidays. It seems that the bottom line is peace. You do not have to agree with someone to spend good enjoyable time with them.
I think talking to them individually could help. I believe that you have the right to enjoy their company and not bring political views into time spent enjoying each other’s company. Maybe you could suggest that when everyone is at your home you steer clear of highly charged issues that probably will get things stirred up. If you want to be clear before a major holiday or get together, it’s time to get started.
You are not asking anyone to agree. Everyone has the right to their opinion, but your home is your peaceful place, and that is all you are asking for is compassion, peace and space to do just that. I hope this helps.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
