Problem
This sounds a bit out there, but here goes. I do not like being around people much. I have always been a solitary person and I like to read and do a lot of things alone. I am very shy and I have always been this way. Being around others causes me a lot of distress and I get very nervous if I have to be around others for any length of time. I would rather just stay home. The problem is that I work around quite a few people and they invite me out and ask a lot of questions about why I do not want to go anywhere.
It seems like they criticize me and I take it seriously. Maybe they are just including me or trying to. When I am asked to go somewhere I think I have anxiety about the whole thing. I will on occasion go out with co-workers, but I usually leave early and go back to my little safe haven—my home.
I was not hindered by COVID at all because I could work from home, and I did. I did not miss coworkers. I was happy to stay home but eventually I had to go back into the office. I have to have a job because I need to make a living.
Discussion
We are all different in personality, and I think that is okay. I don’t believe it is bad to be a homebody. However, it sounds like you have anxiety to go along with your isolation tendencies. Now that could be part of the problem.
If you are shy that is also okay. I would guess that there are people who overcome some of their shyness and live a little different lifestyle when they come out of their shell. I believe that it would benefit you to talk to someone about your feelings and see if you can modify some of your behavior to include yourself with others.
I do not hear you saying you do not like other people, so maybe the people are not the problem. Learning to interact with people and enjoying their company might be something that you could learn to do with some practice and motivation. It might be less stressful to learn how to interact little by little. My encouragement is to give it a try and talk to someone you trust to give you some ideas about handling your issues.
You might just push yourself a little to include others in your life. People can be very nice to be around once you get comfortable with them.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.