Problem:
I have been seeing a man that I am not married too. He is kind, sweet and understanding. I did not mean to start anything with him, but he was always willing to listen to what I had to say. I think I am falling for him, but the thing is that I am married to a man who seems so unavailable. We have three children, and we both love them dearly.
My husband has never been a good listener, and quite frankly he is a know-it-all. Even if he does listen it feels like he could care less what I have to say. I don’t think he was so much like this when we first got together. He has never seen a problem in our marriage, but I have often felt neglected and put aside when he just seems to take over.
Discussion:
I think it is easy to be interested in people who seem to be interested in you. I am not sure that your husband has changed, but maybe he has an attitude “if it’s not broken don’t fix it. I am suggesting that you sit down with him alone or with a counselor and talk about some of the things you are not content with.
You’ve heard that the grass is not always greener, and I do think it makes sense. We have to deal with our lives on a day to day and work on the issues that cause stress or strife. See someone who knows about relationships and talk about your issues and understand that if you do not live with someone full-time, it’s easy to see them in a pretty affirming way. This fellow that you can talk to has issues of his own. Please understand that.
Seek help, for you if not for you and your husband.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
