Not any happier

Problem: I have seen a counselor in the past and did feel better when I was seeing her, but my spouse did a lot of complaining about the expense. I work and bring money into the house and it is not like we are impoverished, so I did not see what the problem was.

He is pretty controlling and I think I came into the relationship with new ideas. He did not care for the ideas, so things just went back to the way things were.

I am not happier and now I feel pretty resentful about the whole situation, and of my getting some help for me. I don’t think I am unreasonable, but I do not know what to do.

Discussion: It may be hard to understand that when a person begins to change and do things differently—that is called change. Change can be uncomfortable.

Change affects us all differently and many of us are just used to status quo. This probably includes your husband. You were probably pretty predictable before counseling and maybe your new ideas were somehow threatening.

The thing is that no matter what he liked or did not like, it is certain that he does not run your life. I would suggest that you try and talk this out with him and explain the good you were getting out of the process. Talk about it, discuss it and remember he does not have to like everything you do, but at the end of the day you are responsible for looking out for you. Your state of health: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual is all up to you. I am encouraging you to speak up in an assertive way and do what you have to do for yourself.

You do not have to aggressive about it, but you do have to stand up for what you believe.

To submit problems, contact , psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or contact High Plains Journal.