Problem
I wonder if I am one of those people who do not know how to be happy. My wife says that all I do is complain about everything under the sun. I think that I think about a lot of things all of the time and wonder how to make this place a better place. I know that life is complicated and that there are a lot of things that can go wrong. I honestly do try not to complain about all of these things I think and worry about, but it seems like it is hard to see the bright side.
I love my wife and think the world of her, but she just goes through life unsuspecting. She does not seem to see the bad things that go on. She is a pretty happy person for the most part, but I think she is clueless. I worry about my kids going to school and something happening to them. Sometimes I wonder if there is a safe place in the world. We live in a rural area so that does make me feel somewhat less concerned about crime, etc.
I wonder if there is something wrong with both of us. She is so trusting and I think you could say I am a constant worrier.
Discussion
You and your wife are different from each other, but that is not a bad thing. Maybe she balances you out to a certain extent. If you were married to someone like you who worried all of the time, it could be pretty chaotic if you thought of all the bad things that might happen.
I have heard it said that the energy of worry attracts more worry. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if this is real or am I just thinking. If you thought it up that does not mean it is a reality. You have a tendency to lean towards thinking negatively. It could be a habit you need to adjust for your own peace of mind. Many worriers are raised in families that have those tendencies, which means if we learned it, we can unlearn it. I would encourage you to do a little reading on how people think and look at ways you can learn more self-control. It appears that you let your thoughts run away from you.
If you change your thoughts, you change your life. I think it is time to get your thoughts more in order. Yes, things happen and some of them are not good, but that does not mean you need to torture yourself thinking it’s going to happen to you and your family.
If possible, seek counseling and you will find that there are all kinds of ways of overcoming this kind of thinking. Begin to sort things out with a counselor, it will surely be helpful to your life.
I remember a saying: “Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere.”
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
