A friend of mine is a large rancher and has very nice cattle. His cattle herd would be long stretchy, thick cattle that gain well and he also sells quite a few replacement females and bulls.
His granddaughters show cattle at the local and state level. One granddaughter is very young and not very big so her parents got her a miniature heifer to show. Grandpa and grandma went to the show to watch the granddaughter show her heifer. Grandpa quickly learned from the family, including the granddaughter, that when he referred to her heifer as a dwarf that was not an appropriate term. The granddaughter said, “Grandpa that is a miniature not a dwarf!”
This morning at breakfast we again were covering a lot of topics. And somehow it was mentioned about what some people pay to have their show pigs clipped. One said he heard one dad paid $1,500 to have his kid’s pig clipped. Heck, my dad wouldn’t have even let us spend $100 for the whole pig let alone pay someone to clip it.
Then one said, “I bet you probably better not let someone film you with a snare in the pig’s nose.” Then one said, “or a twitch in a horse’s mouth.” Then one of us—and I won’t say who— hollered at the waitress and said, “Hey Dale just said every husband needs one of them for his wife.” Yes, we knew the sparks would fly and as long as they were flying toward Dale well, that’s all the better. Sorry Dale someone has to be the guinea pig.
A man walked by another man who was completely bald. As he walked by he rubbed the other man’s bald head and said, “that feels like my old lady’s butt.” The bald man felt his own bald head and said, “You know you are right that does feel like your wife’s butt.”
A cowboy man said this morning that if he and his brother were arguing when they were little and the family was driving down the road his Dad would say, “Don’t make me turn this car around.” One said, “Did he ever turn the car around?” The cowboy said, “No but he did pull over to the side of the road a few times.”
One of my Dad’s favorite sayings was “If you cry I will give you something to cry about.” The other favorite saying was “I’m going to clean your plow.” That plow should have been sparkling clean.”
Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.
