Problem: I have a friend who seems to find a lot of fault in others and me included. She says it so sweetly as in: I have noticed you have a problem with such and such. It’s usually about a flaw in my character. She is a saint, and I seem to be beneath her. I am not sure, but I feel insulted.
She went to some classes and got her certification in meditation and yoga. I know she worked hard for her change in lifestyle, but it does not mean that we are beneath her elevated view of herself. I think she corrects me so I will know that I have not reached her lofty position. It is unpleasant, and I am irritated.
I find it annoying. Do I mention it or let it go??
Discussion: It seems to me that people that make major changes in their life seem to feel obligated to change other people’s lives. Actually, your life is not their concern.
It might be like an alcoholic finding recovery, or someone coming to their come to Jesus moment, and their want to help us change for the better. They want to save the rest of us, but that is not their job it is ours.
Don’t hold it against her, but if this goes on for a lengthy period of time say something gentle. She is not your therapist or guru, she is a friend, and chances are she is trying to be helpful.
I think that everyone has their own path, and that other people think their path is the best path. That’s okay, but we have personal choice and the volition to do what we think is right.
Acceptance of others is a key here.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
