Passive versus aggressive


I have a hard time letting go of things. My wife is fairly outspoken and she spouts off about a lot of things. She often does her ranting in front of me and just about anyone within earshot. I think it’s embarrassing and she thinks if I don’t like it I don’t have to listen.

I liked it when we were dating to tell you the truth, because she was so straightforward. After a few years it has gotten old. The truth is she does not listen to anyone. I don’t dare say anything because she often brings up our issues in front of the people we spend time with. I feel misunderstood and for the most part like what I have to say is disrespected and ignored. I am tired of her running everything with her aggressive language and ways. I love her but I have limits.


This is a big communication problem. It sounds like you are pretty passive and she is pretty aggressive. I think that you sound angry on top of everything. People have different ways and often dysfunctional ways of communicating and part of the problem is that you have not cleared up the communication in the years you’ve been together.

If you give in to an aggressive person they often take advantage. If you have passive communication you are often misunderstood. Bottom line is the communication has to clear up to get to a more functional relationship. I am recommending that you get some help in your communication so that you can get back to a better place in the relationship. Seek some professional help so you can fix this challenge rather than leave a relationship that has a potential to work.

To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.