A cannibal in the cafeteria?

A third-floor cafeteria at the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s headquarters in Washington recently received a grand makeover. As boring as that may sound, the history behind its name is not the least bit boring.

According to the Washington agriculture publication Agri-Pulse the cafeteria has gone through several names throughout the years. Most notably, the cafeteria was once named the Alfred Packer Grill. Sounds plain enough, right? Nope.

According to a 1977 article in The Washington Post, Alfred Packer was a pioneer and mountain guide who was convicted of several counts of cannibalism in the late 1800s. In the 1970s under the tenure of Agriculture Secretary Bob Bergland, a contest was held to name the USDA cafeteria. The rules were that names had to have a connection to agriculture and no living people’s names were allowed.

As the Post story goes, Secretary Bergland defended the cafeteria’s name—the Alfred Packer Grill. He claimed the name of the cafeteria was bipartisan, saying, “The judge who sentenced Mr. Packer allegedly said to him, “There was only six Democrats in all of Hinsdale Country, and you, you man-eating son of a (gun), you ate five of them. I sentence you to hang by the neck until you’re dead, dead, dead, as a warning against further reducing the Democratic population in this county.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

From then, the history is less exciting. Prior to the cafeteria’s current name, it was called “The People’s Buffet.” This name was a nod to President Abraham Lincoln, who established the USDA, calling it “the People’s Department.”

Now back to present times—I know you’re dying to know the newest name of the cafeteria. Brace yourselves. It is called the “Ag Connections Café.” The cafeteria received a renovated dining space, including new floors, tables and chairs, according to Agri-Pulse. Secretary of Agriculture Sonny Perdue was the first diner at the new digs, and it is slated to officially open to everyone else this week.

During his tenure as agriculture secretary, when Perdue isn’t running around the country in an RV, he is back in Washington and appears to be putting an emphasis on the USDA work environment.

In fact, shortly after Secretary Perdue took office, he decided that the waiting area to see the secretary should be renamed. After a rigorous and lengthy selection process, the winner was named.

The waiting area didn’t have an official name, but it was (and still is) known to many around Washington as “the fishbowl.” It has large, glass pane walls, making sitting in it feel like you’re in a fishbowl being watched by everyone that passes by.

There’s even a YouTube video that USDA produced to showcase the entire process, including how the Department solicited names.

I’m not sure this is the best use of taxpayer dollars, but that’s not my decision.

In case you’re wondering, the new name of the waiting area is called “the front porch”—pretty fitting for an agriculture secretary from Georgia.

Editor’s note: Seymour Klierly writes Washington Whispers for the Journal from inside the Beltway.