How’s your folks doin’?

“How’s your folks doin’? They gettin’ along OK?”

This or a variation of it is a standard conversation starter in rural America. We ask because we genuinely care about our neighbors.

But do we ever have this conversation at home, around the family dinner table with our own aging parents and grandparents still living and working on the farm?

Maybe it’s time we do.

The average age of all American farmers, according to the 2012 U.S. Census of Agriculture, is 58.3 years old. That’s nearly 14 years older than the average American worker.

According to the Ag Census, there are 1.3 million principal farm operators ranging from age 55 to 75 years and older. In 2020 the baby boomers, who have influenced so much of American culture and politics, will all be 55 years old and some will be in their mid- to late 70s.

Farm country is in the path of a gray wave with implications for not just fiscal soundness of family agribusinesses, but the families themselves.

The structure of the family farm still has some similarities to farms of yesterday, with some notable exceptions.

The 2012 Ag Census reported that more than half of all farms have two to three operators involved in day-to-day decision making—think multi-generational farms or farm couples who work in partnership in the business with the lead decisions made by the male head of household. The principal operator, according to the Ag Census, is on average “older, more likely male, and more likely to consider farming as their primary occupation.”

The second and third operators more likely have off farm occupations—often to bring added income or insurance benefits to the family. Two-thirds of those second operators are women, of whom 90 percent are the spouse of the principal operator.

And yet, following the farm crisis of the 1980s we know there was a migration of farm youth moving to the cities and taking jobs in agribusiness or outside of agriculture all together.

“After the 80s were over, a lot of the kids in the family went to school and didn’t want to come back and go through what their parents went through in the farm crisis,” said Duane Hund, a Kansas State Research and Extension assistant and director of the Farm Analyst Program with more than 30 years of experience counseling farm families in crisis.

Change over time

Erin Yelland, Kansas State University assistant professor in the School of Family Studies and Human Services, added that while farm children often go to college and get a degree, it was expected that they would come back to the country to settle down, start their families and take over the farming operation.

“Times have changed since then, and so has the culture of the family farm,” Yelland explained. “More adult children are choosing to live away from where they were raised and pursue careers away from the farm, thus jeopardizing the traditional view of farm succession.” Often if they return home it’s for the occasional weekend visit or to take a week of vacation to help with planting, branding, or harvest.

There’s the added dynamic that perhaps they have siblings or cousins living nearby and farming with the older generation and they rely on them for information about their parents’ or grandparents’ health and welfare. That’s a prime example when the family relationships and communication lines must really be open and respectful.

It’s tough to answer the question, “How’s everyone doing?” if you live four hours away. And yet, there are ways adult children and grandchildren can help their parents and grandparents transition from the physicality of farming safely and with dignity.

There will be instances where older farmers are unable or unwilling to retire fully from farming, Yelland added. They may not be in a stable financial position to stop farming. They may not have a successor to take over the operation. Maybe their family experience is to work on the farm until they die. Whatever the reason, there’s something that pushes them to continue working well beyond the standard retirement age and maybe beyond their physical capabilities, she said.

“The needs of aging farmers and their families are great and can far outweigh those of their more urban counterparts,” Yelland said. “First and foremost is their health and safety, which is uniquely affected by both increased levels of stress and the heightened physical demands of the agriculture industry.” Signs of concern can be as subtle as a change in their normal chore routine or avoidance of a coffee group they typically enjoyed. They can be as alarming as an uptick in accidents with farm equipment or livestock, or discrepancies in bookkeeping or finances.

Hund has counseled thousands of farm families in crisis since 1985 and said while it’s important to keep older farmers safe on the farm, the family also has to balance their mental welfare as well when it comes to deciding what activities they no longer should do.

“Let’s pick a couple of things that grandpa really loves to do and then set a timeline, say in the next five years we’ll transition the activity to the next generation,” Hund said. “So, say grandpa really loves his cows. We agree to help grandpa with his 50-cow herd, we help him take care of them and when it’s time to buy bulls we ask for his thoughts on how to handle the genetics, improving and building the herd he put together.” This helps grandpa feel needed. Some might even consider keeping the older, more docile cows in a paddock close to grandpa’s house where he can care for them easily and safely daily. That offers physical activity that often the elderly lack when they give up careers.

Necessary talk

It’s not a conversation anyone wants to have, but it’s one that must occur if the older generation is going to be able to safely live on their own for as long as they are able on the farm, Yelland said.

“First, don’t attack,” she advised. “Break the ice by starting the conversation with, ‘I need your help with something,’ or ‘I need to think about the future, will you help me?’” Gentle conversation starters that put the emphasis on the younger generation allows the older generation to feel included and respected in the decisions to be made.

Hund advised finding common values and building upon those when discussing the future of the farm and the operators. Typical farm families have a legacy of shared values and if the conversation starts in that place it helps.

“Be kind and exclude judgments, anger, frustration and other negativity during the conversation,” Yelland said. “If you need to, talk with someone else before you have the conversation in order to get some concerns off your chest.”

Consider using a third party to help add authority to the message, Hund said. Primary care physicians, pastors or even trusted close friends can help. Hund often advises farm families to talk about physical, cognitive or psychological concerns with their healthcare provider, who can point them to resources in the community. Additionally, these trusted individuals can be advisors to the relatives who live hours away and aren’t interacting daily with aging family members.

Technology is advancing every day to help monitor and assist senior citizens to live longer at home rather than move into assisted living facilities. There are monitoring systems that can alert authorities in emergencies at the touch of a button. Those can be incredibly helpful to farmers who want to stay on the farm longer.

As the age of our farming workforce continues to increase, the conversation about continuing to work and live independently on the farm is going to have to happen across dinner tables all over the country. But just like any other challenge on the farm, this too can be overcome, if there’s a willingness to face it.

“It’s just a process of trying to figure out what’s needed and find the right answer,” Hund said.

Jennifer M. Latzke can be reached at 620-227-1807 or [email protected].