Do not shoot the messenger


My daughter is a pretty outspoken person, and, in times past, I have tried to talk to her about this challenge. I may be outspoken about things I find important as well. Because of COVID and because we have had several deaths in the family, she has begun to push my husband and I to plan our funerals. I find this pretty offensive. I am still alive and I am in my right mind, and I fail to see how and why she feels so compelled to start pushing this agenda.

I really don’t like what she is doing, but maybe it is time to begin to think about funerals and settling into the mindset that I will die. Maybe I don’t want to think about this quite yet. I am not sure how to approach this without anger. Should I just ignore her, and just live my life without her direction?


I hear you and do understand your not wanting to be pushed into life decisions. On the other hand, do you have your affairs in order? Let’s say you have not put your wishes into a will, it could be that you need to take a hard look at what you need to decide to do, to make life less complicated for your family.

It has been a difficult year and I do believe that with so many realities right in front of us, we need to find what to do with our future. If you are married, it could be a good time to sit down and take stock of where you are at and have a plan. Make your decisions together and take your daughter with a grain of salt. Remember we are people of free will, and even though people have their opinions we are responsible for our lives, and our choices.

Often issues come up because they need attention. Do not shoot the messenger!

To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.