Constantly pondering losses


It has been a rough year for our family with all that has been going on, with COVID. I have taken it even harder since I lost family members this year. It seems like all I can do is think about those losses. I have no one to talk to about how I feel. We live in such a small community and I think there is so little privacy here anyway. My family seems like they do not even notice that there is anything wrong. I wonder why they seem to be so heartless in regard to my pain.

I feel like I need help. Usually I am the one that everyone comes to when they need help. Now, no one notices that I am having problems.


It is difficult for anyone to read another person’s mind. What you perceive as heartless could be that your family does not see you as having problems that need settling. They may also be wrapped up in their own problems and don’t know what to say.

I would encourage you to seek counseling for your own grief and possible depression. Many people have felt that they had nowhere to go, but there are many places opening up online. It would be worth it to check out some of those places. There is no reason to suffer in silence.

To get help you must first admit the problem and then ask for help. It may be a blow to your sense of self but to need help and not ask is very unfair to you. You have been someone others sought out, and I imagine you were very helpful. Being too proud to ask for help and waiting for someone to ask you if you need help is misguided. Ask for help when you need it because you do have a great responsibility to take care of yourself. No one else has that obligation to do your work. Maybe if you told family what you were going through they would be more empathetic.

Love yourself and do your work to get to a better place. I do know it is worth it.


To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.