Problem
The holidays are here and I am just not ready for company. Our children will be coming home, and I feel like I’m not up to doing all the cooking, prepping and cleaning that has to be done. They are grown with families of their own and they never ask if they could bring anything or for that matter if they can help.
My husband is not a ball of energy to do much inside, but he is good at watching football and eating when the food is ready. I wonder if I have raised insensitive people. They come in and I am the motel and the caretaker. I’m just fed up with the status quo. When I talk to my husband about it he says we only see them now and then and for me to quit complaining.
Discussion
I think it is possible to have a better outcome with a bit more planning. If you are stuck with most of the work simply say you want them to do something to help you all to have a better time, and not to have anyone stuck with all the work. Maybe you have never discussed it, but you are right it is a lot of work to have a family get together when you are the primary cook, cleaner, and bottle washer.
I guess you could say that it is a lot of work, and you would like to enjoy the time with them so maybe there could be a simpler meal and everyone can pitch in and help, including your husband. It is better to enjoy your family and not to be stuck doing all the work.
Or you could just say I’m going to keep it simple, because I am not up to all the work that it takes. Surely they will understand if you bring it up kindly. Try it.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
