Problem
My ex has been a thorn in my side for a long time. He was a cheater and ended up marrying one of his flings. I thought it was predictable so I tried to take it in stride. We have not been cordial but I have tried to get along because we have two sons together.
Recently he has ended up divorced and has decided that I was the love of his life. He has started calling and generally being a pest. I’m not interested in him in any way, but it seems like he feels he can sweet talk me into getting back with him. What should I do?
Discussion
Be honest and tell him you are not interested and that you would like for him to stop bringing up this subject. If I am correct he does not have a good track record. Maybe he does not get that, or maybe he just wants someone in the meantime. However it is, the answer is no.
When someone does not understand no, they can pretty persistent. That does not mean that you give in because of that persistence. You’ve heard that no means no. Stick to that mentality and be firm.
When someone wants to manipulate that does not mean you buy into the manipulation. You would be lying if you did. We have the right to choose whomever we want to be with. It is our right to say no when we mean no.
I think you know what to do, just do it. The answer is right in front of you. No, thank you. Use your best assertive manner.
P.S. We have the right to choose, unless we give up our right.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
