Problem: How do you get over your own negativity? This is a question I have had for a long time. The truth is that I do not notice my negativity as much as other people notice it.
I am sort of naturally pessimistic. There are so many times I have been disappointed that I kind of gave up on expecting good things to happen. I was raised by an abusive dad and he was good at making me feel like I was nothing. He belittled me, hit me and did any number of other things that left me feeling like I was just no good. He told me that over and over again. I left home early and had a gentleman that mentored me and I kind of found myself in the midst of growing up.
I met and married a beautiful woman and have since wondered what she saw in me. Our marriage has worked out well and although we never had children of our own, we are pretty happy. I put myself down a lot to my wife and others and they notice my negativity. I don’t mean to do it. Believe it or not I have done well in life and people think I am successful, I just don’t feel like I am. I try and stop saying the negative stuff that comes to mind, but often it just comes out.
Discussion: It seems to me that we bring our not so great history with us and it seems to follow us through life until we learn to be more loving and caring of ourselves. This process of acknowledging that we do not feel good about ourselves may start through others bringing it to our attention and that is a start of understanding. Maybe we begin to own our negativity and think about how to change. I would encourage anyone on the path to self discovery and change to seek the help of a counselor or mentor and to help them begin to work on feeling better about themselves.
You seem to know that you are negative about yourself and now it is time to work on changing it. Please do talk to someone and begin to build some skill in changing your life and leaving some of your past in the past. Building a better future is often challenging, but definitely worth the work.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
