Cattle business is full of surprises

What a business we are in the middle of. I am told that one packer is going to add $5 per hundredweight to the fat cattle they bought last week while another packer was going to make a flat rate of $113 per hundredweight on the fat cattle they bought last week.

I am glad they are doing this but let me just say they didn’t all of a sudden become nice guys and decide they would be fair. First of all their profit margin was $650 per head and if they give back $5 per hundredweight that is about $70 per head so they still make $580 per head. It’s a lot like me being sued for several million dollars. And just before we go to court I tell the judge, “You know, I have been thinking about this situation and I am going to give them $10,000 just because I want to be fair.”

We cattlemen have been taken for so long for a ridiculous amount and very few people have the guts to stand up and say so. I want someone to tackle this. I want every state, national and county organization that has anything to do with agriculture to be sent a form that says—“We cattlemen have been cheated for a long time.” And make everyone say which side of the fence they are on. Signing either yes or no or refuse to sign. I’m talking about seeing which side of the fence these organizations are on and whose head people want to act like politicians and tell you what you want to hear. Then make it public where everyone stands or refuses to answer. It’s time. And the timing is right as the packer is catching heat or would not have added some to fat cattle that he already had bought.

Three men died on Christmas Eve and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gate. “In honor to of the holy season,” St. Peter said, “to get into heaven you must possess something that symbolizes Christmas.” The first man fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it then said, “This represents a candle.” So Peter said, “Come on in.” The next man pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “These are like bells.” So again St. Peter said, “You can come in.” The third man searched his pockets and pulled out a pair of women’s panties. “St. Peter said, “Now what does that symbolize?” The man replied, “They are Carols.”

I got married last year and I wish someone would have told me before I got married. I cannot take it any more. For the past six months my wife has been staying out until midnight every night going from bar to bar. A friend asked me what was going on.

I said, “Well, the problem she’s out until midnight every night looking for me.”

Editor’s note: Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.