Rain is helping as are better cattle prices

Our area could use another rain but that is fairly normal for this time of year. Overall though it has been a good summer.

At least our feeder cattle we are selling are finally bringing enough dollars that you feel like you are making money. It is interesting where the feeder futures market is showing a sign of optimism. Feeder cattle futures from November through March are at $167 with April fat cattle futures at $140 per hundredweight. Again that does not compare to what the packer is selling our product for but it is better than it has been.

Our killing cow market wasn’t quite as good this week but it is still better than what it normally has been.

A friend of mine just found out he has cancer and is only supposed to live 6 months. I think I gave him good advice. I said move to Wisconsin and marry the ugliest gal you can find. He said to me, “Will this make me live longer?” I said, “No, but you will feel like you did.”

Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, “Why don’t you go ask the young’n down the road? He must be smart cause he’s a ‘college gradjyate.’”

So Pa drives down to the neighbor’s house and asks him, “Mr. College Gradjyate—my outhouse hole is full and I don’t know what to do to empty it." The young’n tells him, “Get yourself two sticks of dynamite—one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it’s in the air the second one will go off and spread poop all over your farm and fertilize it. The outhouse should then come down on the same spot atop the now empty hole.”

Pa thanks the neighbor then drives to the hardware store buying just what he was told and gets a long and short dynamite stick. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse and lights them and runs behind a tree.

All of a sudden Ma comes out of the house into the outhouse. Off goes the first dynamite—boom—shooting the outhouse in the air. Then the second dynamite—poop going everywhere.

Pa races to outhouse and asks, "Ma, are you alright?” She pulls up her panties and says, “Yes, I’m fine but I’m sure glad I didn’t pass gas in the kitchen.”

Editor’s note: Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.