Problem:
I have recently found that my wife is talking to men online. In fact, she has been on dating sites. I have some single guy friends that brought this to my attention. I feel sad about this and angry at the same time. I wonder how she could do this to me?
I want to leave. I wonder if she was that unhappy that she would look for a man online, and not even have the common courtesy to say in some way that she was not happy. I am not sure I can get over this.
Our marriage has not been perfect, but I was sure that we loved each other. How do I move forward with this hurt. I briefly told her that I had heard this was going on behind my back, but she denied it. I want to call her out and ask what she thinks she is doing as she casually goes about ruining our marriage.
Discussion:
In this day and age, technology is very available and that makes it easier to sneak around. I am not saying it’s right, but it is easy.
I don’t know what your marriage was like, but it seems that something was missing. It could have been time and attention. It might have been less than honest communication. It could be making a living and not making a marriage. It does seem to me that anything could have happened and maybe you were not aware of anything out of the ordinary.
Marriages end for lack of knowing how to plan for those times when your relationship gets rather dull. I’m saying that you may have gotten into such a place and not doing the work of marriage with some sort of plan could have contributed.
I find that a lot of problems in a marriage can be remedied by taking the time regularly to catch up with each other. Please try and figure out what has gone wrong and try to fix it. Call a professional who deals with marital issues and get some help.
Go see someone, take an honest look at yourself and ask if you became apathetic in your approach to your marriage. This is not a blame thing it is an honest look at how you may have contributed to the problem or not.
Marriage is about the good times, the bad times and everything in between. It is a full-time commitment to be with someone, even when you are tired, overwhelmed and many other things. Be aware of your issues and shortcomings and work on yourself and be honest with your wife.
To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at [email protected] or through High Plains Journal.
