Wheat and cattle going different directions
A friend of mine said his wheat made twice what he thought it would. Another said, “That’s great.”
He said, “No, not really. I thought it would make 4 bushels per acre and it made 8.”
Thankfully he has his own combine, but even at that I’m not sure how good you are in math, but let me help you. He said this year using his own combine the fuel was $6 per acre. He also farmed it three times with fuel at $5 an acre before planting. The seed when he planted it was $10 an acre.
So far the repair bill is a zero, but he is holding his breath because last year it was $6,000 and the year before it was $20,000. His fuel to get the wheat to his bin is $1 per acre. The way I have it figured that is $32 per acre using his old machinery and if he will charge himself $10 per acre for his own seed next fall I simply think he just needs more acres.
I forgot to figure in a 12 pack of beer each day plus two Happy Meals—because they are cheaper than a regular hamburger—plus a bottle of aspirin. I think the guy should get married again or at least get a girlfriend during harvest so he could have some free labor. Oh yeah, I forgot nothing is free.
How do you figure this cattle market out. They talk about the New World screwworm problems in the United States and then the market goes up practically the limit. I had some fat cattle for sale so I called the feedlot and said, “Have you had any bids on your fat cattle?” He said, “Yes, but they didn’t like my pen and another guy’s cattle.” Imagine that! But he said, “I asked the packer how much less would you be on those two plainer pens. The packer said $1 per hundredweight. So he sold them at $255 per hundredweight for me and the other.
Yah who. Maybe that is discrimination. I hear that on television all the time. That reminds me when I was in my 20s I was at a dance and walked up to a gal and said, “How are you?” She said, “No thank you.” I said, “I didn’t ask you to dance I just said ‘How are you?’”
A friend of mine who is married put his girlfriend’s phone number on his cell phone as “Low Battery” with no ring tone. When she calls and his wife sees it she plugs it into the charger.
If you are attracted to both men and women but none are attracted to you—Does that mean you are Bi-yourself?
I got pulled over by the police today. When he came up to my window he said, “I’ve been waiting all day for you.” I said, “I got here as fast as I could.”
Editor’s note: The views expressed here are the author’s own and do not represent the view of High Plains Journal. Jerry Nine, Woodward, Oklahoma, is a lifetime cattleman and grew up on his family’s ranch near Slapout, Oklahoma.
